Our Missing Angel - A True Story about How Spirit Led me to find a missing boy
It was Friday February 5th 2016 when a copy of A Course In Miracles was delivered to my doorstep.
At this point I was living in Los Angeles and attending the Saban Theatre every Monday evening to watch Marianne Williamson speak about this book.
For anyone reading this, A Course in Miracles is a teaching that everyone is God's holy child. That we are all equal and teaches us that there is a Voice for God in our minds that is always talking to us, telling us that we are: unlimited, one with all life, eternal, and literally invulnerable. That Voice is the Holy Spirit.
It’s a pretty big book and I had been going to these conversations for months now and I knew it was time for me to dive deeper.
Friday evening, I was invited by a dear friend of mine to a sound bath in Santa Monica.
For anyone reading this, a sound bath is basically a meditative experience where those in attendance are “bathed” in sound waves. These waves are produced by various sources, including healing instruments such as gongs, singing bowls, percussion, chimes, rattles, tuning forks, and even the human voice itself.
When I walked into this sound bath it was different than any I had attended before.
When the facilitator stood up in the beginning to introduce what journey we were about to take he told us that they would be using sound tubes – in short, this was a very deep way of experiencing a sound bath.
That evening I had one of the most transformative experiences while in this meditative space.
I had witnessed myself turn into this vast ocean and the entirety of the experience I was just waves. Swaying back and forth – moving so much energy – so many memories – it was like witnessing the waves swooping over and washing away my past…. dissolving them right before my eyes…
When I woke up, I had felt like I had ‘cleared house’ – as though that single experience I had taken and transformed so much energy inside of me…
on my drive home I can still remember thinking to myself
“I feel like I am suiting up for something big…something is coming towards me”
I had no idea what of course?
But, I was soon going to fiind out…
Saturday morning, I woke up and I felt clearer than I had in a long time
Mentally, physically, emotionally and especially spiritually
That afternoon I dove into reading The Course In Miracles
This book is a very dense read so it is not something you ‘speed through.’
You are guided to go at your pace and to do the questions in the attached workbook.
I felt like I was in this vortex the entire time I was reading….
I am not kidding….
I felt like I had just sat down in God’s classroom and we were on some cloud up in space and I couldn’t see anything but ‘truth.’
Everything I was reading though was scripture I felt I was just remembering from many lifetimes before.
Later that day I decided to go to Venice for the sunset.
While walking around I met many of the vendors and artists – bought some really unbelievable pieces and met some magical homeless wanderers.
When I was leaving, one of the artists who I had bought a big piece from asked if he could take it for the night and have the guys and girls on the boardwalk do something special on the back of the painting for me…
I said ‘of course! I would love that!”
I told them I would be back the next day to pick it up….
Sunday February 7th 2016 – I woke up like any other day – except this day turned out to be nothing like any other day I had experienced before.
I was getting ready to head back to Venice to pick up this piece of art when my mother called and asked if I had seen a text message she had sent me….
I said “no? what is it?”
My mother went on to say that she was on Facebook and one of her friends had posted a ‘MISSING FLYER’– that her son had gone missing from our hometown and that he was somewhere in California.
I said to my mom ‘Okay? So why are you telling me this?”
My mom responded with…
“Cass ever since you were a little girl you could find anything, remember all the earrings I would lose and you would find?”
I started laughing and said “you’re kidding me right? How in the world can you compare that to a human being?”
And my mom said back “Cass, I know this sounds strange, but I have this feeling I saw this because you are going to find him…”
I remember thinking she was actually certifiably crazy…
How was ‘I’ going to magically find this boy in the entire California area?
When we got off the phone, I took a look in my text messages and this is exactly what happened….
I felt like the walls in my room were melting away –
I felt so clear that everything about the flyer started downloading into my entire consciousness
All of a sudden, all these lessons from Chapter One: The Meaning of Miracles - started funneling through one after another
I couldn’t stop it
It was like this steam of unstoppable angelic consciousness flowing through me singing these:
1. There is no order of difficulty in miracles. One is not “harder” or “bigger” than another. They are all the same. All expressions of love are maximal.
2. Miracles as such do not matter. The only thing that matters is their Source, Which is far beyond evaluation.
3. Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
4. All miracles mean life, and God is the Giver of life. His Voice will direct you very specifically. You will be told all you need to know.
5. Miracles are habits, and should be involuntary. They should not be under conscious control. Consciously selected miracles can be misguided.
6. Miracles are natural. When they do not occur something has gone wrong.
7. Miracles are everyone’s right, but purification is necessary first.
(There are MANY more, but this is just to give you a glimpse)
So, I got dressed and before I left my apartment, I took a picture of myself…
(the one on the streamer above)
I was not used to taking pictures of myself, but something was saying ‘you are going to want to remember today Cass…’
I got into my car, and I said a prayer from The Course
“God, where would you have me go?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me say?
And to whom?”
I started driving and the next thing I know I am parked and getting out of my car on the Venice boardwalk.
I will never forget the way I was walking…
It was really different than my ‘normal walk’
I was walking with an intention… with a purpose
I had this backpack on and I just felt like it was pulling my shoulders back and keeping my heart completely open
I say that because I believe there is a vast difference when we do something consciously vs unconsciously and I was ‘so’ beyond present to my now - that my walk – felt and looked powerful…expansive
As I started walking down the boardwalk it felt as if I was walking amongst the clouds and everything was strikingly vibrant – it felt as though there was this spotlight from the sun just shining on me and funneling through me
Everyone was staring at me, everyone was saying hi to me, everyone wanted to talk to me…the most random things started to happen to me
And, at one point I came across this giant bear on the boardwalk… I turned and looked at him and thought to myself ‘god there is such a different frequency coming off this bear – like he is in pain and needs love’ – so I took a picture of him.
(The picture of the bear is on the above streamer as well…and connected further down the story)
I continued walking down the boardwalk and at one moment I am looking ahead of me and the energy around me started to shift…
almost like when the sun is out and a cloud starts to move over it… you know that chill that comes over your whole body?
Something was happening so I kept present, alert, and as I was moving through the crowd of people,
I see this boy approaching me
He was barely recognizable – he had a blue hoodie on and hair covering his eyes
he got closer and closer
and then –
walked right by me
so fast
and,
in that moment…
I stopped.
I just stopped.
Everything actually stopped.
I slowly turned around and caught the back of his head moving through the crowd and I said out loud “there is no way…. It is impossible…”
I turned back around
and I started walking
I got maybe 10 steps until I heard my name from one of the vendors and I walked over, and he said “are you okay? You don’t look well.”
In that moment
I threw up.
I knew in that moment God – Spirit – Source was telling me to MOVE
I don’t think I even responded to him
I turned around into the crowd and just started RUNNING
Looking everywhere for this boy with a blue sweatshirt
I was crying, sweating, hyperventilating – you name it – I was doing it
Some force came over me like nothing I have ever felt in my entire life
I ended up taking a moment to pause and gather myself
I called my mom and I kid you not….
She picked up the phone and said ‘you found him’
I started cryng and I said “Mom I know this sounds crazy… fucking crazy - but I am not sure if I did – he looks nothing at all like this flyer – and I barely saw him BUT I felt it mom – I felt something, something telling me that it is… and I lost him – I lost him”
My mom told me to keep looking….she was so sure that I had found him.
I got off the phone and I made my way all the way down to the end of one corner of the boardwalk and I said I am going to weave in and out through the beach and the boardwalk and give it everything I’ve got….
I got onto the beach and I kept repeating
“God, where would you have me go?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me say?
And to whom?”
I was about halfway through the middle of the path when this man approached me
In short, He was from England – lives on the boardwalk – charismatic, beautiful soul who was holding a guitar..
He said in an ascent “Hey love, my name is Sunny – you look like a lost Angel looking for a good time, we’ve got this drum circle going on over down the beach, do you want to come?”
I took a moment and paused
I had a very out of body moment
I felt like I was witnessing this story unfolding and this was something very ‘out of the blue” –
do I follow this man…
am I being guided?
Is this a test?
I asked myself “cass what do you feel?”
And, from where I was on my journey I said to myself this is a distraction….
I put my right hand on his shoulder, I looked so deeply and lovingly into his eyes
As I said “ Sunny, I would love nothing more than to one day come play the drums with y’all on the beach but from one angel to another, I am trying to find one of our lost brothers.”
I couldn’t be more real with you when I say in that single moment sunny looked at me and smiled…
But it was almost like this ‘you just passed a level’ smile…
I felt this ‘chilled’ energy again
The same one I spoke of earlier….
I slowly turned around
The boy was sitting just 20 feet behind me on the grass waiting in a bus line.
I turned back around and Sunny was gone.
Poof….just like that
I slowly walked over to try and get a closer look because at this point I was starting to think I was nuts
Actually losing my mind….
I took out my phone to look at the picture of him and I said to myself
‘Okay, this is definitely not him…’
I started walking away
When I noticed he was getting up and going over to the ATM
I decided to just try and go speak to him…
When he walked by me I asked him how his day was?
In that moment I could instantly tell that he was ‘not present’ and on some kind of substance
Since I have been one to take drugs in my earlier years i knew I had to approach this situation very gently
I decided to ask him what his name was
As he opened his mouth to reply he started saying ‘Ja’ and then stopped, looked at me suspiciously and said “my name is bob”
I said “your name is bob?”
He went on to ramble a few things but something that happened while he was speaking was i noticed he had a very unique tone to his voice…
I decided to walk away to make a call.
I decided it was time to reach out to their family,
Up until this point I just didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up because I still had no idea whether or not it was him
I just had a feeling….
A feeling I had never felt before…. A knowing.
But, I still was battling with ‘the human mind’
I was still battling with that aspect of us all that is ‘human’
I see now how much there was still this deep part of me that I just couldn’t ‘let go’ of and fall into trust…
I ended up calling his cousin Justin who ended up being a good friend of mine
Justin picked up the phone and said “Cass! Long time no talk babe, what’s up?”
I said “Justin, listen I know this is going to sound out there but my mom sent me this flyer of your missing cousin this morning…”
And before I could even finish
he said “You found him didn’t you? You would be the one to find him…”
I freaked out because at this point, I had no idea what was going on
I felt like I was in this moment of “how could this all be real right now? Why are these people confirming something I haven’t even confirmed for myself but I deeply feel I have at a soul level”
You see… in this moment I look back and I was doubting the truth of this life, of how miracles actually happen… how intention actually works…
I was doubting the magic this life has to offer us….
I went on to say to Justin “listen, I don’t know if it is him, but I have a very important question… his voice… it’s different? Its…”
Justin interrupted me and said “Omg Cass he’s gay, he has a very high pitched voice, you found him! My aunt is in California looking for him right now!”
I told him I would do my best to follow him and to please call me with any information after he got in contact with his aunt.
I started to do a little investigating of my own… I went up to the people in line asking why they were all waiting ?
I found out it was a bus that took anyone experiencing homelessness to a shelter just a few blocks away…
When the bus came, I wanted to be very smart about how I approached it all, so I let the boy load the bus and I jumped on last and spoke to the driver.
I asked the driver if he knew the boy’s name and he said, no but that he had been at that pick up for the past three months
(which was how long he had been missing for at this point)
So…I decided to go with to the shelter and keep my distance until I heard word from the family.
Once we arrived, I stood out by the front watching all the passengers line up to get into the shelter
While I was waiting, I got a call from Justin….
You know what he said?
“His mom was at Venice Beach today and when I called her she was at the drum circle….. she’s heading to meet you right now at the shelter”
In that moment my stomach dropped….
Everything was becoming a little too real for me
The drum circle?
I sat there thinking to myself “how could this be so easy? How is this happening? This isn’t real? I still don’t believe…”
What if it is not him?
What if I just got his entire family excited for nothing…
What if….
What if….
Ten minutes later I was met by his mom outside the shelter….
We looked at one another
and , I said
“Please, before we go in, this might not be him and I want you to be prepared for this…”
She said “Cass… I am prepared but I think you found him….”
I walked past everyone in line to the woman working the door and I said,
“Listen, I don’t mean to cut all these people, but I have an extremely important question that I need you to answer….”
In that moment I looked back at his mom and put my hand out,
She grabbed it
I said “that boy over there in the corner… do you know him? And if so, do you know his name? – this could potentially be his mother who has been looking for him for three months..”
The woman turned to look back at him and slowly turned back to us and smiled…
“That over there is Jonathan, he’s been here about 3 months now…”
That moment
Even typing it right now still feels surreal…
How?
How could this be real?
HOW?
His mother and I walked over
His head was down eating, and he slowly raised it and I could tell
The moment he saw me
It was like he knew….
He knew that day I was there for him…
He looked over and saw his mother
…..
She said “Jonathan…”
His eyes got so wide….
They started hugging
I realized in that moment that earlier that day when I saw that Giant Teddy Bear looking for love….
it was him – it was Jonathan.
God was showing me the Ending of the story before I could see it…
(if you look in the pictures above you will see they mirror one another exactly)
When they were done hugging, we sat at this lunch table
I sat right across from Jonathan just looking at him
And out of nowhere he looked up at me and looked into my eyes and said
“How did you know….”
I smiled….
And I replied,
“When I was walking on the boardwalk today you walked by me….
And…
your wing slapped me In the face…
I knew you were just a lost Angel, looking for Home Brother.”
He smiled. <3
—————
Later that evening I went back to Venice to see if the artist Micah was there…
When I made my way over to their spot there was a group of artists – creators - lovers -wanderers - travelers – poets – starseeds…..
When I approached they all started screaming my name ….. it was very surprising the way they were greeting me
And, then they grabbed this giant piece art I purchased the day before and stood there holding it..
I can honestly still remember all of them standing on the line of where the boardwalk meets the sand – holding this giant picture and saying “are you read?”
I said “yes… for what?
They turned the picture around and on the other side was a group collective picture of the way they said they saw me
It was a giant colorful Angel… with flowers mashed into the paint and she was wearing a bandana on her face… hidden, an anomaly to this world…
I just started hysterically crying…
What an ending to an epic Fairytale of a day…
I stayed there for hours with them painting on the beach….. I didn’t share what had just happened because it was trully this magical story I couldn’t even put into words… I just sat that evening in the magic of life…
With creators…
Knowing we are all the creators… of this beautiful thing
This beautiful miracle we call life….
——————-
Ever since I was a little girl I have believed in Magic – magic in the sense of ‘more.’
I have always been a believer, a dreamer, a seer – and I’d like to believe that even as I get older that ‘believing’ doesn’t dissipate but I encourage it now to get stronger.
That day will forever be engrained in my memory because It showed me just how real miracles are – just ‘how much more’ is really available to us….
We just really have to believe
Even that day challenged my faith, cause everything outside of me was reminding me that ‘I need to trust myself’
I felt the whole day I was right, but I kept fluctuating between fear and love
Between human and spirit…..
That day
showed me
how staying open and clear gives us the power of thousands
how we are all truly just channels for god, for source, for goodness
It showed me
how we are really all here to help one another
To love one another
To use our powers for good
To help walk our brothers and sisters home again
That day proved to me that there is more…
That there always has been and always will be
More.
We just all have to keep REMEMBERING
So, to you reading this
Please don’t ever stop believing
Miracles do come true
Just look in the mirror….
My Deepest Love,
Cass
They named her ‘The Hidden Angel’
